shi-er-hao

2009-11-21T19:49:00.002+08:00

feel: happy

had a happy time with darling =D
went for swimming early early in e morning with darling.
and jy came over to join us too . hahas!! around 20 laps?!?
tired... -.-llll hahas . aft breakfast, we went to airport, to recieve his mortal.
**awkward silents** i know u feel very bad . soon or later she still needs to know?
hope time will really heal? love can't be force too.

i feel bad too, i understand how she's feeling. but, i think we're quite helpless though.
actually i feel u should clarify with her? i scare it may cause misunderstandings between u ans her? it's too sudden for her i think, she will feel a lot of doubt and wonder wad exactly had happen? why all this girl all sudden appear? maybe, msg her again aft a few days? she will feel u do care about her, but as a brother? a gd friend? i don't really know and understand, how's u and her for the pass 1 yr, i believe she's really a understanding girl?

if u really feeling not okie, pls share with me? hahas .
and i don't want to lose u too . i'm kinda scare actually.

2009-11-21T00:55:00.002+08:00

sorry, don't meant to add onto ur unhappiness . it's really very qiao .
don't worry about me . he's very nice to me. and time will tell everything
nobody's life is a smooth sailing one. maybe ur are tt chosen suay one,
but i believe, every storm, there's e light . jia you!

2009-11-15T21:33:00.002+08:00

feels: sian ( in e mid of A's)

half way through the super draggy A's . tired
lots of worries, anxiousness, disappointments, fears
everyday keep on wad if wad if wad if?? i really scare i
end up in SIM, which i really don't want . arghh...

wad if, i really end up choosing another?
i don't want to ying man ni, cos i think is unfair to you.
i don't know hw to tell u. but actually for few weeks, 4-5weeks?
before, during A's and now, i, jy and him have been studying together. we have been msg-ing too . i'm so sorry . i know u will feel very shity about me. i'm sorry . i did think before, yah wad will happen aft he enter army? evrything will be like something e same again . will i change my heart half way through? i chose him le. i'm sorry . after going to 10 mths of u going army, i know so much better and clearly, how it is like, i outside and another inside army. i didn't promise him, tt within e 2 yrs of army i'll for sure wait for him. but i'll try my best . and i believe, his faithfulness and love is worth me waiting. and now is purely up to me whether i can pass this time barrier. i'm sorry . we're still hao peng you right? u're still e most caring brother .

2009-10-24T23:00:00.003+08:00

am i or am i not?

HAO FAN AHHH!!!!!
falling into the trap willingly....
entering a brand new start line.
anxiousness,jealousy,sweet,cute,gentle.

-eliniaiazubow-
-flownaway-

2009-10-21T23:23:00.002+08:00

Feels: better .

dun feel so sick today! still having tt manly voice though ( and i tou chi ba gua still) hahas!! bah....
quite turn off now, just receive news tt tml gt CSE lecture *yucks* but i ain't going ! gt jimmy's remedial. i need to do well for econs!! one of my most hopefull subject i guess. hahas

okie, going to mug in sch tml =D
REALLY NO TIME !!! when i see the calendar, how i wish i have atleast a week more?! omg.
how i wish i see the columns/rows wrongly tt i still have atleast 1 week more . dang!!
this most likely to be my last post till 1st DEC'09 !!

peeps, pls pray for me! and J2s WORK HARD! all the best! (although u all are my rivals, argh! but we're no doubt on the same boat now) JIA YOU !! byes!!

2009-10-18T23:29:00.002+08:00

Feels : irritating/GUILTY

i having sore throat !! ahhh... irritating, itchy throat -.- feel like scratching the walls of the throat, wad tt bio term? gullet? hahas!! can't remember . is like needles poking my throat.

i didn't study much today . SUPER GUILTY !! ahhh . should i go study now? yes i should right?! yah . going to do my econs? or should i do math? haiyooooo.... i'll math bah . hahas . dang...

lots of things happened today . lazy to talk about . it isn't something pleasant also . i'm really scare tt i can't make it for A's . hais . how?!?!? wad should i do... i'm studying... revising... issit goin to work? really afraid now . how's other doing now? are they studying much more harder than me . i know i haven been putting 100% effort .

AND !!! ALL THESE NEED TO STOP !!!
100% EFFORT !! 100% !!! no more half hearted girl! u cannot afford to be the way u use to be le !! WAKE UP GIRL !! WAKE UP !!!

ni dui wo tai hao le... super not use to it . i don't know, i can't figure out what/how u're really feels? wad's ur thoughts? as in feelings . ahhh... so weird right?? dun ever treat me too well . esp guys, this is a warning . all guys out there, dun ever treat girls too well . not gd de .

sam and gab ask me b4.. wad if one day i found out u are going out with another girl "secretly",
wad will i do/feel . for tt instant, i dun know wad to reply them . i dun know wad am i feeling . i feels tt ya, it's okie, i dun hav the rights to be angry, i won' t feel it's not okie or being cheated or wadsoever. but for a second thought, will i be able, or will i really feel this way, can i really accept it as "it's okie" i think i can, but i think, mayb i can't . weird . wad's this? -.-lll

den this qn came across my mind, wad if one day i tell u tt, i dun love u anymore, i dun hav tt special feeling anymore, not because someone has replaced u. wad/how will u feel? will u mind, or u won't even feel a single thing at all?

2009-10-13T23:25:00.002+08:00

Feels: afraid, worried

my wai po isn't doing well . 80 plus yr old le, and she just gt a mild stroke. and tt doc said tt she can be discharged aft 2 day out form HCU ?! she haven even recover well i think . she's now back home . but from wad i heard, she's really not doing well . lost of appetite, she dun even have the strength to walk for like 5m? and she kept on sleeping whole day . it isn't a very gd sign . the amount she eat and drink is like so little . she won''t have tt strength and nutrients de gosh .
i'm really afraid . i haven done my part well to visit her regular. our huang tai hou's face more and more qiao cui each time i visit her . going to have my A's soon . i dun wan anything to happen. for my sake and for hers too . everyone, pls pray for her recovery . thanks .

God, pls atleast let me have a chance to do my part as a grandaughter ="(

2009-10-10T23:22:00.003+08:00

Feels : unproductive .

went to Jy's sch to study with her and benjamin . hahas . kinda weird at first. it's not my sch. and is like some top JC, feel so diff . whole sch was so quiet, only can hear our own writing sound and benjamin's sneezing (havin flu) hahas . for 6 hours, i only finsh econs hmwk, one math prelim paper, and compre's all short qns so slow and not productive !! but i think tt's my hmwk for the week? except for chem, which going to do it tml i suppose . hais . am i to slow? gosh .

and... yah, studying period, i for sure gain weight . eat and sit down eat sit down . argh...
2kg leh!! need some control.. no eating for the coming week, save some money, going deficit real soon.

back to work.

2009-10-05T00:08:00.002+08:00

Feels: Tired/ unproductive (hais)

feel so so gulity . still lots of work not done yet !! NO TIME AH !!! hais .
LYNN! U NEED TO BUCK UP & STOP WASTING TIME !!

2009-10-04T00:42:00.003+08:00

feels: happy

i have just end a rollercoaster ride. a ride i nvr want to take again .

being a bridemaid is very fun !! hahas . very tiring . but met alot of funny and nice people . wedding is real tiring . gosh . hahas . very tired . too much ups and downs . gd night !
blessed =D

2009-10-02T23:46:00.002+08:00

i feel so so so bad .
i hate it . hate such situation . i feel worst now than ever .
wo hen xiang jen xiang jian ni, hen xiang hen xiang bao ni.
i miss u alot .

i dun wan to be a crying puffer fish eyes bridemaid tml .

2009-10-02T21:34:00.002+08:00

Feels : excited

tml will be my cousin's wedding!! and i'm going to be one of the bridemaids . hehes!! excited . but need to wake up at 5am in the morning . hahas . luckily it's only wedding lunch not dinner =D
hmm... are we meeting tml? kinda disappointed, but somehow a bit relieve .

I WANT TO BUY MY PURSE TML !! hopefully ...

2009-10-02T00:35:00.002+08:00

Feels : bored

i'm still doing cse essay at this hour **sian** hahas . no choice, had to hand up tml . hahas.
is so boring, keep writing facts after facts . yucks . hais . prelim results not getting better, not worsening also . all U and S as predicted . not very demoralise, but i know i can do better .

tu ran jian, ni hao xiang bu jian le . ni jiu xiang feng yi yang, shui yi er lai, shui yi er qu .

sometimes,
feel tt "ni bu yao li wo hao mah?",

but, other times,
feel like "where are u? i need you . hais"

when hu si luan xiang, pms,
"are u trying to hong wo er yi? can u treat me better?"

how important are u actually to me? or u are not at all? how important am i to u actually?
ni dui wo de hao, shi wo zhen de xiang yao de "hao" mah? how much do u really understand me? u seem to understand me very well, but somehow it don't seem to be the case. ni cai de bah?

what if i lie to u, i did things that i promise/said i will not do,
will u forgive me?

ppl might feel tt i have changed, being "badly" influenced by them. but i dun feel tt way. wad's so bad about it? because, i know wad am i doing and i know how to takecare of myself . it's not everyone who does tt is bad . many ppl have a misconception of it i think . doing tt doesn't mean i have changed in terms of character or principles, i am still who i am .

ppl say ying man is worst than doing wrong . but telling the truth will hurt/destroy rls.
shou le hui sheng qi, bu shou, is worst than zhuo cuo shi . it's so confusing .

2009-10-01T00:21:00.002+08:00

Mood: idk . weird. jealous. can't be bothered?

we start to get back our prelim results today .
econs P2, 13/25. 13/25. 5/25! P2 overall S. omg
math: U . i failed math . miss lim will be so disappointed.
chem gen bu yong jiang, confirm 100% U. CSE, from Mr chan's
tone, bu bao le bah . anyway, he grade us into A and B group.
Elites and slow learners . WTH right . bias somehow . duh...
jealous? idk, a bit? but seriously i can't be bothere, neither do i wan to.
so wad? i dun need a A in CSE, i just need a C or B . wad i really aim for..
Econs:B, Chem:C, CSE: C, Math:A, GP:C . ppl might say, wad a lousy A'level
grade . so wad? i dun need wadever STRAIGHT As to go uni . i wan to go NIE,
or some fine arts courses in uni. i know wad i want for . and i will work towards it
stop showing sacarsms or try to demoralise me or something . u ppl just go away.
ironically, is tt airpork? suaning and suaning for 1 hr . wadever....

after night study, went to lot1 for dinner . and with the 2 xiao di mens, we started to play with ATM. not really play, but to explore UOB's ATM. they just applied for the Gold R Card today.
which i had it alr . and so we tried to explore the features and facilities in there . and i realise,
i can check my acc no. and balance on the ATM, which i tried for so long but failed. but they did it . hahas!! omg . really IT dumbo . we went to set our own acct transaction display. really quite stupid though . three 18 year old JC students figuring with a ATM . hahas! bahh...

saw pr selling mooncakes again . hope she really doing fine . she looks tired .
friendship last a lifetime. it doesn't matters who u are, what u are . a boy, a girl, straight, les, gay. all these doen't matters . they are the people tt walk with u through thick and thin, supporting u.
this relationship is even stronger than love relationship . nothing can breaks it . not even fights nor arguements, cos friends forgive and accept one another for who they are .

2009-09-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

should msg or should i not?

2009-09-28T23:10:00.002+08:00

Feels: happy, lost

just finish watching ming yi guai tan .
**scary** i'm scared of ghost, but the story very interesting.
watch wad u say and wad u do no matter where u are. hahas .

went Top 1, to sing, kara-OK (dun know how to spell)
with the two xiao di mens . it's very fun . as in really can do
wadever we want inside, and nobody cares(sing/dance/scream)
evidently, gab has the better singing skills . but sam also not bad .
they really can sing well . hahas !! and, is free flow of drinks .
and so... sing,drink,toilet,sing,drink,toilet... many many times. hahas!
we took bus home, and we met with TRAFFIC JAM, quite a bad one.
wrong choice, should take mrt instead -.- but still reach home quite early
tml onwards, it will be all back to studies . the final stretch of this A'lvl race.

recently, u treat me very well . wad u said kinda shocked me .
seriously nvr expect those from u . and i also realise, i really somehow
neglected/ignore u for the past days/wks. lots of things happened,
learnt to accept, understand and live with it . kinda being affected somehow.
feels tt, rls/ love/ marriage is really somewhat very far-fetch . dun want to,
dun dare to think about . neither do i yearn for it anymore . maybe tt's why,
i chose nt to bother about u like how i always do . and yah, i admit, sometimes
i really feel that i'm "entertaining" you . words from others affected me too.
dun know wad am i really feeling now. just letting God and fate to decide everything.

somehow, i dun wan u to treat me tt nice. i feel weird . idk . is like, are u entertaining me?
or it's really from ur heart? i dun wan u to "repay" me back . but, i believe u're sincere about it.
just tt bit of fear?

sometimes, i really dun wan u to treat me like ur little sis . but it has become a xi guan bah .
i dun wan u to feel bad. no "sorry" . bu xiang hui tou kan . love is willingly, is freely, is priceless.
isn't it? i dun wan to lose trust,faith . i dun feel uncertainty about the status. i'm not waiting,
not being stubborn also . i feel uncertain because, i dun know wad u're really feeling or thinking .
u nvr let ppl understand u . u nvr let ppl to walk into ur life, to understand your heart .
and for the past 1 yr? this sha da mei trys to conquer it . but i believe i do understand u quite
a bit? i trust my own instincts . sometimes, i really feels tt u are hiding. finding reasons,
excuses to cover up, to hide, to avoid .

"truth" maybe be rather nasty, hurtful or difficult to express. but tt's what keep
a friendship, a relationship, a marriage continue for a lifetime .
.tan bai.

2009-09-27T23:38:00.002+08:00

Mood: tired

i think sg is really too small . town...
isn't much stuff anymore . lai lai qu qu the same stuff?

anyway. it's kind of hectic day today .
went to church in the morning, brunch, den back home to change
meet up with tt 2 xiao di mens . and head to town =D
eat,shop? hahas . and head down to tanjong pagar to collect
my bridemaid's gown . need some alteration, but was collected on the spot
the gowns is like huge, as in it's quite bulky to carry around de . hahas .
we went to eat tao hui again!! is nice, very nice . but nasty ill mannered aunties
so rowdy lah **weird**

we watch Fame, it's kinda disappointing though . the dance was nice, but
the storyline, kinda not nice? i dun know how to phrase it. not very gd .
the ugly truth was so much nicer . hahas!! tml going KBox!
singing our hearts out, and aft tml, it's back to studies till 1st Dec.

hmm... waiting for the 2 gentlemen to online now . taking such a long time
**yawn**

2009-09-25T10:03:00.002+08:00

is once again . motivated .
yups . hahas!! thank u, "PIG" !

going to watch movie later,
the ugly truth . hope is nice . hahas!

aft pouring out some of e stuff ytd,
really feel so much better . not so troubled
and pek cek . hahas . but somehow the ans
is still not found . but i cannot bother tt much le
A'lvl first . other stuff, after that bah .

going to bath now ! byes !

2009-09-22T22:35:00.010+08:00

Feeling: idk . speechless??

had my H1 math paper today . omg .
it isn't easy at all . hais .
hoping for a pass atleast?

Met Peirong @ Lot1 just now .
she's selling mooncakes !! hahas.
gt a news from her **shocked**
and kind of cannot believe it is true.
everyone thought they will last.
but no... nothing last eventually.

love will fade, patience will run out,
tolerance level will reach maximum one day
i really wonder how God can do all this so perfectly
humans are weak, selfish and ignorant.
ytd, my mum PMS or menopause? idk
but wad my dad did is to sleep and snore like a pig,
like as though nth happened, when my mum was like
crying outside the living room. wad a marriage is this?
love? care? tolerance? lifetime? wad a marriage vow .

tt day i went to choose bridemaid gown, saw something
similar, or very "wad de heck" . a woman, getting married,
was choosing wedding photos for the wedding album with her
future husband . she was so happily and hyper so enthu choosing
the photos, while the guy just sit there with a super woper sian sian
face. both of them like extreme end kind of emotions. it looks as
though the guy was forced to marry the woman . show no interest at all
marriage is a 2 ppl thing . it seem like he dun even feel like marrying.
before marriage, tt guy alr like tt, wad about after marriage??
it's common to divorce in sg bah . divorce rate is quite high here.
maybe, the money spent on wedding haven even earn back,
the marriage is gone for good alr .

sometimes, guys are really like bastards? hahas . when they are bored,
they will find women to pei . when they dun need them, just throw them
aside? ladies? need guys' attention, flirt and seek love?
i'm a girl . i know all these too . in fact, i did, doing, do such stuff before .
**speechless**

i always very xian mu those old loving couple . how they do tt? seriously
i cannot tolerate an imperfect marriage, neither do i can tolerate an imperfect
relationship .

2009-09-22T00:02:00.003+08:00

Feels: suprised, but it's logical

went to Gab's house to study . hahas .

den his CG came over . tt da jie jie, ruiwen? issit?

i dun realli know her name . diff to pronouce . hahas

anyway, she's very nice pretty, gd CG leader too

man xi huan ta de . very cheerful and bubbly . hahas .

at first, Gab play piano and started to sing those songs,

i missed those songs so so so much ! it's like re-enlightenment?

all the LOVE, the GRATITUDE, the URGE to praise and thank HIM!

like flowing back to me . i missed serving for Him.

Gab's CG started, they are in the rm while i'm at the dinning area.

but can hear very clear what's going on inside . the songs, praises,

bible verses, preachings . omg . i missed them so much, love it.

end up i'm not really studying, but listening the the stuff she's talking

inside the room . it's by luck, i know most of the verses she used today.

i started to think, about relationship and stuff . something struck me.

we dun suit each other . religion is really a huge barrier.

i want to SERVE HIM ! i will continue to do so . but, this is something

which makes me and u different. and, actually i dun need u .

we're too far apart dun we? i need someone tt understands me, and my religion

somehow is out of surprise, or should say not very surprised, i got to know things

i'm not surprise . and i find it acceptable . and i haven been truthful, to myself,

or to others? idk. maybe u're there to keep me on to the right path. sometimes,

i really wonder, am i hanging somewhere in the middle?

actually, wad i need is very simple, love, care, concern, understanding, support.

anyone can give tt to me . isn't it . but who exactly knows all these best?

i thought u would, and so i'll stay right . but u dun . yah, maybe i hang onto u,

just to be right? hahas . weird .

gotta be strong and independent . i dun need u.

just need close, good, best friends .

and surprisingly it's them or him.

2009-09-21T01:12:00.003+08:00

me: **surprised**

understand, understanding, understood u more ( friend, male, 18)

a devoted . a strong . a caring . a mature . a sensitive. a committed .

a loving . a xi xin . an encouraging . a persistent . a yong bu yan bai .

a charming . a silly . a wonderful . a grateful . a lovable . a faithful boy.

you know what to do, u only need tt "discipline" to do it . u have the ability .

you 're a great friend with a great personality. it's a blessing to know u .

and sometimes u should learn to relax and fang kai a bit.

sacrificing too much, isn't a gd thing . it's part of life .

u're a person who knows how to love and

being grateful towards ppl around u.

i know wad should i do next .

2009-09-21T00:27:00.003+08:00

i have been very busy with studies (IS).
busy? or should i say running away(slacking), and rush at the last min
tt's why so "busy" . idk . it since a long time i sit down alone and reflect about life.
feel as if i'm lost in a maze (studies, friends, wanting freedom, play, sins)
is this wad i really want? waht i need? feel so regretfull, for many things done or happened
nvr in my life, i felt tt way before . somehow or another, i cross the IS barrier, now
A's and i'm now in the mid of prelims .

and yah, PRELIMS !! sound omg . but i'm not really very concern. tt's what i should OMG about
seeing ppl freaking out at prelims, but i feel it's alright . am i really alright ? obviously NO
lots of catching up to do . whether i can get a decent cert is really a question mark
i even doubt and wonder if i can still carry on, or just let it be. do i still have tt fighting
spirit to fight on? life become quite meaningless now . other than, feeling gd meeting up with sam & gab. somehow i dun know wad i'm looking forward to. weird . feels dead .

pass by, the cathedral of the good shepherd tt day, just feel a calling to enter the church.
i have nvr been to tt church, or once when i'm very young? yah . i walked in, knelt down at
the last row and prayed . trufully speaking, it's since quite a long time tt i last prayed .
although every sunday, i'll thank God and somehow "repent" . after con camp, i nvr really doubt
His presence and the love for me . while i pray, really pray, i know he's listening . i felt lost.
asking for guidance . i feel so unworthy, but i know, i'm the child of God, no one is ever unworthy
in the eyes of His . i lost my way in my faith . it has been a long time ever since i went back to
youth . i told myself, aft i'm done with my IS, i'll go back . but no. i didn't . lots of barriers tt
prevented me from going back, fear, troubles, and idk. i want to go back, but i dun dare to move
tt step. giving lots of reasons not to go back. dumb .

i always tell myself to carry on (A's) He will be with me . He will walk me through .
but i always feel, tt there is this evil creature near me, tt "huating" to make me not doing
the right things . choosing something obviously wrong, den after REGRET . it has been a
long time .

love/hate/dislike/neutral
i realise i dun really need u . more for a friend now. have i really gotten over? should say gotten
over. or rather, it just went bland . i'm trying to be more emotionally independent. have i?
before tt, i always feel, it should be someone like u or close . but now, i realise . it's not.
the "life" i want might turn out to be not wad u like. something u will not do at all .
i think is alright, it's nth wrong. but to u is totally the opposite .
maybe, u're just this "temporary" thing now, when another person appears.
u won't be it anymore . but sometimes, it's not . i feel happy . very . by ur actions
but, is this done becos u really meant it or just to fufill the promises? idk.
** in self denial **

2009-09-20T23:34:00.004+08:00

Mood: fulling? hahas !!

actually feeling quite tired also .

went for mass early in e morning . hahas

like today's mass . nice songs and meaningfull homily.

visit my ah ma den meet gab and sam to study

somehow, really like their presence . hahas!!

and their FANCY FREE from Sun Ho . hahas .

anyway, it's a very nice song and her MV woah ! hahas .

left earlier to meet my family for dinner @ teaochew restaurant

full !! super . now stomach a bit pain . hahas ! overall it's nice.

but a bit ex ah . is like each person around 50 bucks !!

when i saw the bill, i was stunned . hahas!! 250 plus plus .

i can buy ipod nano alr!! gosh ! and i'm aiming for the red one !!

hehes !! visit my wai po . hahas . nephew and nieces were there too

aren't both of them cute? hahas!

2009-09-19T00:08:00.002+08:00

Mood : RELIEVED, Delight, Happy

Finally Finally Finally !!! SUBMITTED MY IS (cse thesis paper)
WOOHOO !! hahas . it marks the end of the torture!!
6 mth plus of torture !! anyway, peeps congrats too !
thanks those who helped and supported me =D
Big loves . and from this thesis thingy, really sees wad's
huan nan jian zheng qing . true love and friendship !!
really touched . heehees .

hao jiu mei you jing jing de xiang tong xi le .
so much thoughts began to rush through my mind

2009-09-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

mood: gulity/ not happy

i have been eating and eating non-stop !! feel so fat lah . surely, i have gained some weight.
argh!! hardwork gone to waste alr . i will
DIET, MUST diet from tml onwards .
i dun wan to gain back the fats again !!

my knee is giving problems again . argh !!
going to see sinseh tml morning .
hopefully it will be alright . hais

2009-09-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ozp2b7nrvBQ

mood: happy- a bit disappointed

just change my blogskin !! love it =D

had my GP prelim papers this morning . firstly, i think
i chose the wrong question **regret** . secondly, the P2
is quite difficult !! or is very difficult . didn't manage
to complete the whole paper . hais . dun wan to disappoint
mdm yaty too . so sorry =(

went swimming in the afternoon . gt tanned a bit *happy*
not so fair le . hahas . had my lettuce,bacon,egg sandwich for
dinner **man zhu** very nice, cos i ownself make de . hahas!
lots of lettuce =D and is wholemeal bread . nice!

sometimes, i really dun understand. i can't get wad's in mind.
**confused** **scared**

2009-09-02T13:50:00.000+08:00

Mood: bad

wake up ealy in the morning to go to sch for CSE mock test .
really dun feel like going de . hais . i'm so tired, so sleepy !
didn't really put in much effort to do also .

i finish watching the whole of ming zhong! finally . now i can focus on my studies =D
currentlt @ NLB again . i look at my thesis . stare blankly . no mood to type a single word
so i go find my books . sit down stare . i feel like going home all sudden, or just go out
for a walk . but no . i shouldn't do tt . or should i go other places to do it? but i dun think
it helps . and i think i falling ill . i feel feverish . am i having a fever? my throat dun feel
right too . and i forgt to bring my water bottle **angery** i feel like sleeping **tired**

having knee problems again . left knee . now, is everyday . dun know wad to do . go see doc?
see sinseh? so sick of it . but i'm worried . what is happening to it . hopefully nothing serious.
all sudden miss u . hope tt u are beside me like now **headache**

2009-08-29T22:55:00.000+08:00

Mood : happy

there's something wrong with the facebook again . wth -.-lll
** turn off ** fb getting lousier . hahas .

anyway . i slack the whole day through . watch ming zhong, go to the bank, eat, sleep,
watch ming zhong, sleep, shop, meet jl, eat, go ah ma hse, home, watch F4, use com
hahas!! i totally wasted most of my time today . omg . so guilty . hehes
now having headache . kinda tired . i'm so becoming a pig lohs .

i thought u're alr being burried deep down. and will be replacable or being replaced .
but always at such moments, u will be on time to climb back out again .
ur tt natural charming remind me of the past, reminded me why i will fall for u.
i dun know wad to do . tt detrmintion vanished .

seeing the way u laugh, hen wen xin .

2009-08-25T18:57:00.005+08:00

behind all these happy faces, it's all the sorrow, stressfullness, hectic works,

the cryings and helplessness . the undying spirit, the perserverance, havin
the possibility of becoming insane and break downs .

the aims and goals for good grades . the pressure in achieving them

jc life . it's really tough . so tough tt i nearly can't take a breathe

i nearly wanted to give up, but have no choice but to continue this race.

i need tt cert. not tt i desire for it, but it's a need. like our basic necessities,

the cert = our daily food and water for survival . how pathetic .

i'm so scared, so worried =(

2009-08-23T17:08:00.004+08:00

Mood: SIAN-ZA-TION

currently @ NLB again . hais .
frezzing cold **shiver** my nose is icing cold now.
lazy to do my thesis le . so boring and frastrating .
so i switch to CHEMISTRY !! =DD not as though i love chem,
but atleast it's not to annoying and boring . ZZzzZZZz

gab and i are doing super lame stuff. pluring to each other when we are just sitting
beside each other . hahas !! it's how bored we are, no, tt's how boring THESIS writing are.
back to chemistry =D

anyway . just wan to say . he's quite cute !! and shy shy de . but hav e height and average built? hahas!! surprisingly, he's my senior in sec and jc. but i only notice his presence recently .
thanks to sam and gab . hahas!! but when i look at sec sch yr bk, i dun hav any recollection
about him at all . but yah, tt's all about it =D

2009-08-21T15:27:00.003+08:00

Mood: I WANT TO SHARE !!

!st Sem of Sec 2 : THE FARM BOARD

2nd Sem of Sec 2: THE TELEVISION BOARD

End of Sec2: THE TRADEMARK OF 2E3'05 !!

hahas ad a drastic diff . somehow it really brings back all the beautiful memories

of my sec1, sec 2 years in dunearn . the super fun students with the super cute teachers

everything seem like a childhood memories now . time really files like crazy .

how i wish to be back in those sec1 & 2 days again . everything is so happening.

NOw, 2009,

A's !! THESIS !! TESTS !! EXAMS !! NO TIME !! hais .

2009-08-19T00:03:00.000+08:00

Mood: angry

there's something wrong with blogger !!
hais . i wan to post photos !! =X

i feel so distant from u. it seem tt there nothing tt we can really talk and chat about.
u seem so so far away, near to non- existence. u seem to change . a person i dun know
how to communicate to . i'm afraid . very afraid ="x

2009-08-14T23:49:00.000+08:00

Mood : happy/ tired

it was a long long long day in sch .

8-9.30: math
10-1.30: econs,GP,Chem
2-3.30: CSE
4.30-6: GP mock test

i had all my subjects lesson in one day . omg .
sucking all my brain juice out -.-llll

my class, everyone gt GOLD for napfa except for 2 NIL,
thus, we are the 2nd fittest class in the whole j2 cohort.
i'm really happy tt almost all gt gold for napfa,
but quite disappointing tt we lose by just tt small little margin.
even the fittest class dun have everyone getting GOLD for napfa =X
not blaming anyone in class though . i believe everyone improved so much,
compared to last yr tt we're top 10 from the bottom if i did not remember
wrongly. mr yaw is proud of us bah . i'm happy for ZESTT as a PE Rep too!!

today's GP mock test, i could finish my AQ and summary in time . first time!
first time i feel so satisfied with my AQ. i'm trying very hard to improve
my AQ and summary, which cost me to fail GP. but passage 1 was quite diff.
hopefully it won't pull my grades down . but NVM !! i'm focusing on my AQ and summary.
yups, feel very satified and happy of wad i wrote today . i feel it's quite a gd piece,
compared to the AQ i wrote previously ** BIG SMILES **

it's friday le . so fast lo .
he pass out from his sispec sergent course le .
time really flies, 4 mths of army alr over .
he gt into MP @ kranji camp, which he wanted **lazy bum**
hahas!! happy for him though . anyway,i need to do
and complete some homework NOW !! hahas !!
BYES...

2009-08-12T16:04:00.001+08:00

Mood : SIAN-SATION

currently in sch . doing my thesis .
i feel so so so sleepy =x
but i can't . it going to be deadline soon !!

DO MY WORK -_-llllll

2009-08-10T14:02:00.002+08:00

Mood: bored/ dead/ tired

currently @ yt mac . studying/ doin homework?
simply dun have the mood to do hmwk at all . i haven done with a single piece of work .
i dun feel like touching them . i dun wan to take A's le . i'm tired . i dun wan to study anymore
i'm so sick of it . just want to sleep my way through . forget about my goal, or wadever so called
aims or future . hen lei ah !! wth is all these . ARGH !!!!!!!!!!!

i really feel like screaming and shout out loud now . AHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!
**ANGRY**

2009-08-08T15:16:00.000+08:00

mood : pek cek

really bad mood now .
i need to do my hmwk, but i cannot concentrate
blindly waiting for the replies and confirmations
keep thinking wad if? issit like...? intentionally?
i need the anwerS. wad should i do?

2009-08-08T01:53:00.003+08:00

mood: idk

went back to dunearn to play bball today !!
i'm so happy to be back there . miss the place so much .
and it's going to go under prime soon . hais .
had quite a lot of fun play bball . plus jin rui they all came too
it's shocking to see them back . hahas .

went town with sam, sam's sis, gab .
we went ion orchard a few time, this time round
we gt sick of tt place . hahas . i can memorise wad shop at where,
which floor . omg . it's not tt big afterall . hahas !!

later in the night, went to erin's bday party =D
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY ERIN !!

i'm kinda disappointed . but i dun wan to be rushing here and there.
quite pointless . i'm not in a bad mood. but just a bit sian diao.
somehow the promise seem to be really a promise to be fufilled every month.
it's the sake of fullfilling it . but it's not correct to feel this way right?

i dun know wad should i feel, not how is wad . should i feel sad .
or should i feel okie, it doesn't matter, it's fine? which one should be the correct one?
am i waiting? or am i looking for the right one? there have been a few passer by.
i know about wad they try to do, some are friends, which make it even weird.
but i just feel they are not the right one . am i doing the right thing?

gd night

should i miss u? but i miss u .

2009-07-31T22:49:00.000+08:00

Mood : appreciated/ happy

this week, alot of things happened. meet the parent, class photo taking, team photo taking,
testimonial match. and i tried to stay focused on studies, but is kinda diff . hais .

meet the parent.
wed, 8am. meet the parent with my ct and miss usha.
it was so scary . i dun know wad to say. and i know my mum is super reluctant and pissed off,
cos she need to meet the teachers again . 2 nights before, i just had a fight with my parents,
they threaten to lock me outside again. yah, i cried, and was so angry why dun they understand
me. or maybe i dun. so much things were going through my mind. i somehow really dun feel
like going home . i dun know wad should i do, wad should i feel. sound dumb. miss usha came,
we sat down and talk . she look at the teachers' comment about me. and she read for quite long,
i'm so worried lah, dun know wad did the teachers wrote about me. while she read,
she smile .

den she turn and look at me and asked: " how u feel about your results?"
i replied:" not good, very bad?"
she asked again: "do u know why u did not do well for yr tests?
i replied: " i did not put in enough effort."
she said: " what and how u measure efforts? how much effort to you means it enough?"
i dun know how to reply, i'm so scared, i dun know wad to say. i dun know wad's the ans

i paused for a while, before she said: " see u dun even now how much efforts mean enough?
girl, it's not tt u did not put in effort, u did. see, ur teachers wrote tt u improved, and u showed
tt u tried ur best. it's not tt u did not put in effort. you are a good girl. "
my ct add on: " u always feel bad when u tried, but see no results. u feel lousy. no confidence."

i'm shocked ttm !! **SHOCKED** not even my mum understand this part of me. i nvr like to
show out my weakness. probably no one understand this except for God i suppose. yah..
i tried . but somehow, i always feel tt i tried not enough. cos i not showing the results i want.
i feel so demoralised, so lousy. and gave up . but somehow, my ct pulled me up,
it's not the first time, it's like the third or fourth time le.

miss usha suggested some studies method to me,encouraging and explainin to me.
while on the other side, my mum complained about me not studying, or i go out to study,
but mayb i'm not study, but playing. i dun focus, but use com, play bball, stay out late
at night.. blah blah blah... becos i dun study at home, is not i dun wan, but i can't.
due to the fact tt i always go out to study till late night, 11pm?? they dun really
trust me whether i'm really studying a not or just go shopping and fool around.

but i heard my ct says: " i trust tt she's not tt type of girl. she will study. and she did try.
but seriously her study method is wrong, and she's sort of stubborn. will wan to figure her
way out herself till the extend tt she really cannot den she will go for consultation. it's okie. becos i myself during student's days, i will stay in library from 8am to 11pm. she did try, and she not tt type will not study type"

omg!!! shocked once again . my ct knows me so well lah . i can't believe it.
he gave me tt trust i need . he gave me the courage and tt understanding which my parents
dun. i felt so appreciated . but my mum seem not very convinced. i felt better after tt though.
really thankfull . on the same day,is "ct cum class party" day . our ct treated us macdonalds!!
DOUBLE FILET O FISH !! hahas!! it cost him around 100 over bucks lo. hahas!!

today
we had our team photo taking and testimonial match . hahas . it's quite fun though.
magnus was forced to take with us . hahas!! so funny . den, our testimonial match,
vs j1s . quite surprisingly we won . it's not tt we are gd,neither the j1s are lousy . they are making progress . but mayb due to "pressure-free" we played well today . yeah !!
all the best to the j1s !! hope they will go far next yr .

okie . bed time !! gd night !!

2009-07-27T00:23:00.002+08:00

Mood : real sad/ dishearted

collected my 3rd 4th placing medal today. and the milo tin.
another achievement in basketball.

i'm threatened by my parents to be locked out of the hse the 2nd time.
i'm alr 18. EIGHTEEN !!!! yah, i should feel fortunate tt i have a complete family,
tt others might not have, but , with a broken family but being understood and
supported by their single parents, compared to a complete family, with both parents not
understanding wad u wan. i sound so bu xiao shun right? am i?? i dun understand my parents
as well. seriously i dun . do they really know wad i want to be, to achieve, to play,
my passion and my goal? wad i'm going through now. wad i need the most . wad i desire the
most? i doubt they do. as well as i dun know wad they really wants? treat me like a robot?
stay at home and study, to eat to sleep when i can't focus at home to study? everyone is diff.
i can't study at home. i'm so distracted at home. but wad do they think? no!! go outside study
mean play . nvr study! bad girl!! stay at home mean gd girl! they feel like they given me wad i
need and wants. but do they really know wad they given me is not wad i want?
is wad they think tt i want. is wad they think is the one gd for me. is wad they think, not me.

sometimes i wonder.. issit i'm the one not thinking in their shoes, or they are the one not doing
so? am i the bad girl? or just they dun understand me? WHY?!!?? can someone ans me??

for 6 yrs, SIX years i played bball. how much support did they given me?
they even told me just lose and finish the competition. it may be a passing remarks.
but hello?! it will cos a scar somehow. it's my passion, wad i feel tt i'm achieving and being
myself.

i'm not a robot!!! it doesn't mean wad u think is for sure gd for me. it doen't apply this way.
i know very well, wad should i do!! i'm at fault too. i know. i ling wu le. i startin to study le.
why are u condemning me now?!?! u know wad i need the most?

SUPPORT & LOVE .
not shouting and screaming!!

2009-07-24T23:03:00.002+08:00

Mood: Happy

our class finally had our class photo taken today. but ther's 2 abesentee.
thanks to e high technology, the uncle says that, they can photoshop the 2 of them in still.
hahas!!! all of us were shocked!! all we need to do is leave 2 gaps for them to photoshop the
2 girls in . we took our fun shot at the spice garden . hahas!! hopefully it turn out nice.
and we were so so noisy tt many ppl came out and watch us take photos. quite pai seh de.
we are doing some weird poses, everyone like staring at us . hahas!! but...
who tell us to be the best class, smallest but the best . hahas!!

i cycled to ytcc just now for training . it since a very long time ever since i ride a bike.
i seem to have a bit of difficulties controlling the bike. hahas!! i was so afraid tt i dash out
of the lane into roads, or bang onto someone, or even drop into the drain or something.
i ride super cautiously. keep using the brakes. hahas . and i made there on time and also
back home !! i'm so proud of myself . hahas! riding a bike there, is faster than i take bus lo.
hahas!! next time i'll ride a bike there for training ! but it will be aft A's i suppose.

tml is our last youth cup game, 3rd/4th position.
vs teck ghee again . it will not be an easy game tml. but we are out to win.
we must win, we need to win . make it the best ending to our season.
play it well, and celebrate for the 3rd, and not disappointed with a 4th.
i dun wan a 4th position medal again. hahas.

YELLOW BANANAS, JIAYOUs !!!

2009-07-23T00:43:00.002+08:00

Mood: Happy/ Pissed

went for Kobe Byrant's Asian tour just nw @ S'pore indoor stadium
hahas!! omg . he's tall and big in size . on tv he look small . but he's not !!
the way he laugh was so cute lah . " ha ha ha ha" hahas!!
he's indeed a true bball player . ** admire him **
the way he coached the players, the things he said was so right .
he really show s'pore bball players wad's bball really is about . he's so serious in it too
he dun come here to show off how gd he is, but come here and show us wad bball really is
he's indeed gd and inspiring . hahas . he dun look down on ppl, but teach bball .
i think he is even a better coach than this s'pore team angmoh coach . hahas!!
he teaches not just skills, but wad's bball .

aft tt, we went kallang leisure to eat. finding seats were alr big problem.
aft eating, worse !!! wait for bus, it nvr comes. wait for taxi, SAME
it dun seem to come at all . wth !!!!! i'm so pissed off . lousy transport .
at tt moement in time, how i wish i could drive now !! we waited for about
half an hr to 45 mins lah. long story. just **PISSED**

i'm so tired . gd night .

2009-07-21T23:21:00.002+08:00

i am so so annoyed by this stupid blogger, e posting pg is weird !!
and i just discovered a cut on my toe!! dried up blood,bleed, bleeding .

**PAIN & ANNOYED**

2009-07-21T00:25:00.002+08:00

Mood: tired/ happy

this will be a very short post . cos i'm very sleepy !! hahas
had a short day in sch . aft which, we went to watch harry potter.
to me is not tt bad as wad many ppl commented, maybe cos i didn't read the
book itself . to me it was not bad . hahas . had dinner @ Aston =DD
the food is nice although the portion is rather small . hahas .

the 3 of us settled down @ Starbuck, anyway, we're @ The Cathay.
to study . hahas . it's quite satisfying as we complete quite a lot of homework.
it's a fruitfull starbuck trip for gab and sam as they stolen the starbuck mugs home.
hahas!! sam took 2 mugs !! hahas .

okie, it's time for bed. tml's a long day -.-llll

GD NIGHT !!!

2009-07-19T00:10:00.002+08:00

Mood: dishearted/ sad/ helpless

we lost our semi-final. just by tt bit . i believe we can do better .
somehow is just fated tt we won't win bah . hais . i saw xy's expression.
feel so bad lo . somewhat i expected, i didn't get to play today .
they tried very hard. but i can't do anything to help them.
i feel so wu nai . i feel that pain, i believe all of them did feel the same.
we lost de hen yuan wang. is like luck is just playing tricks on us .
last min, opponent score 2 3-pointers where, she didn't did tt in the first 3 quarts.
it really dampen our spirit, though we fight on, but is invaild .
we fought, though not a perfect gd play, but ... still we lost.

really feel like crying. not really about the win/lose neither is about not havin e chance
to play . i told him, it's not me playing bball. i'm like some scary cat on court. where's tt
daring and determined me? i feel worst than i'm playing A'dvs . pr felt about the same too.
but she seem to pick herself up. wad about me? i'm not going to admit defeat, but,
what should i do next?? i can't commit, too much stuff and pressure to take on.
studies, emotions, bball and stuff . this yr really very tiring, luckily or not, it passed quite fast.
but i can't commit in things i'm doing . training, games or studies, i kept havin tt lousy attitude.
i need a break free.

anyway, my name means.....
" Lynn is a female name and there are two supposed meanings for it. The first is Welsh and it means Lake or 'by a lake' and the second is English and it means 'pretty' "
http://www.blurtit.com/q106002.html

who am i? i'm pretty

2009-07-17T21:25:00.002+08:00

Mood : mixed/ worried

had a short training just now.
tml is our SEMI-FINALS, vs Home U. peizhen's team
hahas . it SEMIs !! SEMI !! but somehow i dun feel tt anxiety,
i also dun feel anxious about it . it's like another match.
is tt gd or bad? am i taking it too lightly . i'm not even bothered
whether we're going to win or lose . i just feel... kinda neutral .

is tt how much bball meant to me now? i dun wish tt's true .
am i tired of it alr? am i stagnant alr? where's tt passion, where's tt
spirit tt i used to hav? or i'm so used to it now, tt it doesn't bothers?
i dun wish any of these to be the ans . i dun yearn to play as much as in
the beginning . i feel inferior .

this weekend, i have a lot of homework . need to complete them most likely by tonight.
my class now, has an outspread of fever and flu . horrible . hahas .
today and ytd, we only have 10 ppl present, mr lee fall sick today too.
ppl takecare k !!

tml is SEMI-FINALS, wish me best of luck.
YELLOW BANANAS aka Hornets, JIA YOU !!
rest well =D

2009-07-16T22:47:00.003+08:00

Mood: Glad/Tired

it has been a long long day in sch . hahas .
had lesson untill 4.30 . the day seem quiet without gab around
get well soon k gab ! somehow it's so quiet tt it became weird .
hahas . sam also lack of a partner to pei he him with his crazy stuff.

went to bukit timah hawker center to eat aft sch . hahas!!
they really gt quite a lot of good food there. everything seem so delicious.
aft tt, did our econs homework @ KAP mac. shopped @ Cold Storage & NTUC
hahas . i feel like cooking and baking again !! but i don't have tt time =(

it's time to do homework now . byes!!
GET WELL SOON GABRIEE !!!

tml is class photo taking . but there's so many on MC =(
it's the 4th day, what're u doing now? how i wish i have the
ability to read ppl's mind .

2009-07-15T22:41:00.003+08:00

Mood: happy/grateful

all sudden have some random thoughts .
i'm enjoying sch days now .
with the few of them around, lame/fun/stupid
jokes and actions. hahas . time seem to fly faster .

many ppl said, jc friends, are just some norm friends tt
just passed by a part of ur life . is tt really true??
there's no lasting friendship in jc. i dun think so somehow.
ppl in jc mayb more realistic, but there are ppl who are nice.

the few of u, are ones tt i'm going to sit my A's with,
the ones i will mug my ass out for just tt stupid/important passport
for my lifetime and future.

to be friends really needs fate? there's so many jc, so many classes,
but in the end, being classmates, and even friends really do need fate.
just like gab and i, we're classmate for the 4th yr now. during sec sch,
we dun even talk 5 sentence to each other in class, but now,
pratically everyday, almost everytime, we will hang out with the others.
study, mug, play, shop, watch movie & **** (our secret) =D
it's somehow really amazing . love u peeps !!

JIAYOU yeah!!

i was wondering, if there's really one day i have to give up totally,
will i do tt? will i be able/willing to do it? do you worth tt much?

2009-07-15T22:06:00.005+08:00

Mood: tired/confuse

i only left with 8 wks to my prelims.

tt's so fast lah . start to feel fear . not much time left,

but still, i can't that motivation to push myself to study .

i know wad i wan, wad i aim for,

but aimming isn't working for me .

i need to find tt passion, tt passion to
study . find interest in wad i'm studying .
i need a timetable . but will i follow it?

starts to miss tt boy again .

is that habit coming back again.
everynight when the phone vibrate,

i will hope tt i will see ur name.
i dun wan to msg, or should i?

i dun wan that habit to be back again.

how's tt boy doing now?

2009-07-12T23:41:00.002+08:00

Mood: SLEEPY 100%

i'm so stuck with the GP homework. not going to do le
going sch tml and COPY . it's a bout current affairs,
which is wad i'm weakest at . argh .

I.S, I.S, I.S NOT DONE YET .

i'm so dead now .

2009-07-12T18:06:00.001+08:00

Mood: IRRITATED

some dumb dumbs talking so loudly in e library,
as though it's their house or something .
ugly faces, loud irritating voice .

writing my I.S now . i have a long way to go!!
omg . sam and gab are progressing faster than i do .
hahas . deadline : tml, 5pm . argh .
my thoughts like flying all around, being very distracted
by tt 3 dumb dumbs .

2009-07-12T00:11:00.003+08:00

Mood: Satisfied, Happy =D
. i love my blog now ** BIG SMILES**

. tml morning havin training . need to sleep early.
I.S !! 1/5 of the essay done . omg . i still have a long way to go
-.-lll going national library tml -.-llll

. miss you =x
GD NIGHT !!

2009-07-11T14:58:00.002+08:00

Mood: Boredom

Doing I.S @ One Fullerton .
fighting for internet connection .
saw a few cute, handsome angmoh guys =D

i'm so confused of what to write (-.-)

2009-07-10T22:58:00.002+08:00

mood: tired

sch officially started . due to H1N1,
we had class sitting area in e canteen,
and also in leature even has sitting plan (according to index no.)
but it doesn't really help, still in air-con rm . hahas

had traning just now . it wasn't very tough though .
hahas . aft training, recieve msg from mr chan.
hand in IS on mon! omg . i did nothing about it at all
-.-lll need to rush tt IS out in this 2 days .
**reluctant**

where are u? i dun know wad to do .

2009-07-09T22:45:00.005+08:00

sleepy mood . it's since a long time tt
i ever felt so tired and sleepy . hahas .
waiting for gab to rip e mambo songs and pics .

is remaining faithfull so difficult?
why ppl tends not to be contented?
i'm really scared i'm losing the feeling .
are u really the one?

2009-07-07T16:32:00.002+08:00

- work in progress -

currently studying @ mac .

it so noisy here, filled with sec sch kids .

having our last mye paper tml . CSE P2 .

simply no mood to study . hahas .

2009-07-04T00:21:00.003+08:00

i'm so so tired . sleepy .
i'm 60% finished, aft i finished my 2nd last MYE paper
somehow prepared to have a cup of tea or coffee with the
principal or HOD soon . hahas!! my goodness . sigh .

going to hav training tml morning, and sun's morning
this is crazy . had training just now also,
guess wad . maybe cos it's since like one and a half wk
tt i last run and train . omg . i'm like some granny?!
simply can't burst my ass to run faster . like some
car engine or gear stuck somewhere . disappointed

our next game this coming wed . VS. Stackers .
we need to win this game . we should be winning.
is a MUST though . hahas . but as wad coach said just now,
bball is round . shouldn't be so confident . effort needed .

next game, it meant a bit more to me .it somehow
gives me more confident and the "dare" to play better
they are the weakest team, suppossingly . i believe
i'm a better player compared to some of theirs .
doing my stuff should not be a difficulty, having more confident to
do my moves on them . shall not hesitate so much .
i need to relax and think clear on court .
wad i can do during A'dvs, i should be able to do it now .
shouldn't i??

gab sorry, really tired . i go sleep le . hahas .

2009-06-21T00:30:00.002+08:00

today, our first youth cup match.
vs teck ghee, hard fought match.
xinyu not aroun for this game also.
a few of e players damn proud, gt tt ya ya face
-.-lll BUT!!! WE WON ! hahas!! super shiok .

initially, i didn't thought so much, cos i dun even know
whether are we really able to step up to e "rough-ness",
they are quite a violent team . and we did not really had ample
trainings still . quite worying . nvr even thought of winning,
just tell myself, play and fight all out, and let God decide the rest.

last quarter, our hearts like going to jump out. the points margin
is like 1 to 4 points . shouting and cheering . finally, we won!!
oh yesh oh yesh!! hahas!! there's a few moments,
really praying to God, pls let us win pls !! we are fighting
hard. pls!! hahas!! praise God !! we won =DD

hornets vs teck ghee
65-61

needa continue to fight hard . next match vs Combined Red,
but nothing is impossible !! this team of bees, will
work and fight hard!! jiayou!!!

2009-06-14T20:34:00.002+08:00

Con Camp'09 marvelous !! =D
i'm very drained out. but really touched.
i heard His calling . but i think i still need more assurance

2009-06-08T23:34:00.002+08:00

tired . very tired . hahas . went to national library with sam & gab.
it's the first time i'm quite productive there . cannot believe tt i sat there
from 11am plus to 4 pm . went to eat soup spoon, aft tt to sam's hse,
den to gym . quite a lot of ppl there . quite packed . kinda awkward
with so many strangers around -.- lll

needa rush out my IS now . hahas . 3 of us SHOULD be rushing it
but sam went missing?? hahas . it's going 12 am soon . omg .
hais . i'm so so lazy to read and analyse . -.-llll

big big advice: DUN TAKE H2 CSE . it's torturing .
and my facebook acc is lagging . irritated .
wad's happening? these few days my stuff keep
failing me . hais .

2009-06-03T22:32:00.002+08:00

had my math paper today . make a boo boo mistake.
initially i thought is a 2 hr paper, but in e end is actually
a 3 hr paper. in e end, i rush for nothing . hahas .
quite dumb though .

had hornets training at SIM hostel again . quite blur today.
but somehow i enjoy playing ball. though is tiring,
but i'm happy . i love the feeling of playing ball.
had my old knee injury back? is affecting me.
when i see ppl injured and can't play ball,
really scare i'll end up like them .

go and watch boys over flower=D
yi jung is so cute!! hahas

2009-06-01T22:03:00.002+08:00

ytd night, aft dinner, my family went to west coast park
to have a walk . though is quite dark there, but, we were
able to see the sea and the nearby jurong island and psa .
sometimes, taking a stroll, really can destress . how would i
wish i can live life in that slow pace.

i and my sis went to play playground together .
those playgrounds with small slides, holes and ladders.
and also qiao qiao ban, and the spider web tower thingy
it seem a long long time ever since we played in a playground
it seem childish dun we, 18, 19 yr old playing at the playground.
all sudden i feel so happy playing. remind me of my childhood time
i and my sis playing at the playground everyday, aft going mkt with
our grandma . i really miss those days. free of worries and burden
live life happily, innocently. though for this decade of yr, i achieved alot of
things in life. but nothing is happier compared to the childhood time.

those days were so happy. whole big family living happily. laugthers,
jokes, all the cousins being caned together cos of fighting with each
other over toys. i and my sis even bath together . enjoying my ahma's
cooking. being doted . i rather live in those days where being caned
than now. competiting against time, studying hard for grades,
an entry to uni. sometimes i feel so tired. growing up isn't easy at all .
how i wish i can control time using a remote. i wan to go back
i'm not happy at all .

2009-06-01T01:39:00.002+08:00

hornets had friendly with ex njc cum current njc .
we won. 70-30 . it's the first time we officially played 5-on-5
as a team . it's really not bad as the first time we are playing together .
did well for e 1st half, but not for the 2nd half . too xin ji le .
quite affected initially by some words . but this is not it. it's not me .
something i realise, this passion is growing stronger .
something i'll nvr give up on. and i need to put this passion
into my studies. it's gonna be a tough year . pls support me through
it's not gonna be happy, but it's a need to. it will be sunshine aft storm

feel like waiting, just feel diff. like a calling .
something diff form the past. but afraid tt it is just illusion .

2009-05-29T23:56:00.002+08:00

it seem a very long time since i last posted.
has been busy for this whole week .
anyway, IT' S FINALLY HOLIDAY !!!
omg . i'm waiting for this day to come .
although need to study for the whole holiday .
but still it's better than going to sch everyday.

had hornets training today . didn't perform that well.
quite disappointed with myself . i somehow like stone-d
during training . hais . but atleast i realise something,
i can do right hand penetration pretty well . hahas!!
going to try my left hand soon . gonna be quite tough .
having friendly with the ex-njc players on sun morning.
hopefully i perform well . somehow, i'm trying to aim to be
in the main 5, but i know it's impossible . hahas .
but still i'll try . going to stay over at babarah's hse tml
cos we are playing at NOVENA on sun . omg . 8.30 in e morning

it not just anyone,
but only the special place,
for tt only special one .

2009-05-23T23:24:00.002+08:00

unknowingly the sunshine isn't shining as brightly,
the laughter isn't as cheerful anymore.
a child full of burden hidding in a corner .

where's the light? has she shun it off?
i didn't even realise the change.

. wants to go back to the good old days .

2009-05-22T21:24:00.002+08:00

HCI once again won A'dvs champs . hahas
e girls match is so exciting. it's like some roller coaster ride
CINDY !!! congrats . MVP of the yr . hahas . she played very well today
she's so humble when we praise her just now . damn cute . hahas!
but overall they played well . hahas .

went out to eat dinner . hahas .
all sudden felt so lucky tt i'm a girl .

2009-05-21T23:42:00.002+08:00

had a long long long day in sch .
dismissed at 3.30, 3.30 to 4.30 GP remedial part1,
5.30to6.30 GP remedial part2. stayed for night study.
but aft helping theresa with one math qn, left sch for church mass
today's Ascension . hahas . TIRED .

not going sch tml.
awaiting for tml to come =D

2009-05-20T22:29:00.002+08:00

wad a day . i'm so tired . hahas .
i realise my ct understand me quite alot
omg . shocked!! yeah, i need to put in alot a lot of effort
but i won't let myself break down? hopefully
hopefully i can cope with e stress . hahas

had training at SIM hostel . it's super far and uh lu.
it's at ulu pandan . hahas . it's the hostel where e ping pang yuan
de show was film . hahas . very tiring. and lots of mosquitoes.

how have u been?

2009-05-18T23:37:00.003+08:00

i have been very efficient during night study .
hahas . i solved the whole "story-telling" qn 5
by myself!! ahahs . surprisingly i did it. hahas .
cos my chem really lousy to the max . though i used
around 1 hr?? hahas . sense of achievement . hahas!
sound stupid -.-lll

con camp coming soon . this yr my sis is serving with me .
but still i remainin the intercessory . cos i can't commit for
the whole 4 full days . but i feel, i'm not prepared to serve
i haven keep promises, haven really been praying much .

slowly i gt used somehow with u not being around,
someone i always complain and whine to . hahas .
i felt i gt used to it . maybe? i dun know .
maybe gt used but not forgotten? but have u forgotten?
this yr, esp from mid yr onwards, i'm going to mug for A's
somehow, u have ur tiring life, i have my tedious studying schedule.
not wanting to interupt each other's life .
browsing back, i miss the gd old days . miss you .

2009-05-17T23:09:00.002+08:00

i need to go consultantation tml . but!! i didn't revise .
i dun know wad problems i have . hahas!! die!! how??
i need to find back my motivation to study . hais .

dun know whether u still have the time to read my blog.
but somehow, u seem to be irreplacable . miss the gd old days .
hahas . sound weird though. u have ur life in there and family,
and i have mine out here . not wanting to disrupt . cos is tough for u,
i believe . tough and tiring . hope to see u soon .

2009-05-16T00:28:00.002+08:00

super duper sleepy. hahas. ZzzZZz
had a long long day in sch . but it's finally FRIDAY !! =D

hahas .had training just now. we FULL ATTENDANCE today!
first time hornets training we gt full attendance . hahas .
BUT, coach wasn't here . he was caught up with some stuff .
so Jiang Jun take over . hahas . he and his lousy english . hahas .
we run our plays . played 5-0n-5 . not bad though .
by right we have around 5 centers . thus by left, some becomes power forward.
can see tt we are quite a balanced team i suppose . hahas .
we varies in sizes and height . hahas .

fan tao hua?? hahas . if i nvr guess wrongly . hahas .
but somehow it's impossible . though race shouldn't be a factor,
but it seem weird . i get it, just tt i act as though i dun .
need some time i suppose.

2009-05-11T17:26:00.001+08:00

white lies . it's just "white" lies/promises .

lessons startin tml . boring -.-
i haven done any hmwk yet . sick .
IS again . hais .

2009-05-10T23:48:00.003+08:00

dun know why i'm so affected . why u?
i thought it's okie alr? so affected .
tt make my days so bad. kept on pondering

life isn't been easy for me esp now, this yr .
it's not gonna be u again . i suppose .
need to lead my own life . it hurts .
sometimes i feel, being taken for granted .

i realise, i've been straying away from God.
i know, but i do nothing. walking deeper and deerper
into the dark . whole world is just about u,
and forgotten about Him . i know, at first is just relient,
and u will be okie, after a while. but cos of that "at first"
which made me fallen back .

went for session today . and it's intercessory .
God showed the love again. He made me believe again.
nobody knows how trapped and unhappy i was for the passed days .
how terrible i felt . during the intercessory, some of them
confirmed it. God spoke through a few them to me. not to hide,
not to feel unworthy, reach out and he will guide me out.
He touched me. i saw the vision too, i saw him holding my hands
guiding me on a path, a empty, light-shining path,
slowly walking out . and not to doubt. very comforting .

it do takes time for e wounds to heal. it's not gonna be easy i know.
but i believe i can, cos i need to . hopefully before con camp.
i dun wan to serve with a burden heart.

lighting the path,
guiding me out of darkness,
back to His side once more

2009-05-09T00:29:00.001+08:00

wish tt u really fall asleep .
going 7-11 now.

2009-05-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

stayin over at PR's hse today . hahas .
she's 18 !! yups, join our sweet 18 gp .
went for outside training, perform badly during training.
gt scolded quite a lot of time . didn't perfom tt badly for very long time.

are u back?? i saw ur facebook post. are u avoiding me again.
am i overly sensitive. hate u being this way.
anything happened? affected. wad's now?

2009-05-08T00:18:00.001+08:00

sleepy . ZzzzZ . hahas .
it's gonna be weekend soon!! yeah !
going to watch hci vs rjc tml =D
sleeping time!!

2009-05-06T00:16:00.002+08:00

showing signs of depression .
breakdown . feeling real stress up .
i need a break NOW . but it's unrealistic .
unless there's a swine flu breakout in s'pore.
how i wish . waiting for e black alert .

dying out here . tears of depression??

2009-05-04T23:22:00.002+08:00

tired . hais . feeling empty still .
tml's a super long day -.-lllll
i haven complete my I.S . OMG OMG !!
i doubt the whole class complete theirs too . hahas!!
i did try to do, there's some progress though .
i tried, still trying to change my hair parting, is real irritating.
i should be doing my chem tutorial actually . i will do, later??

mid-yr timetable is here, it's not bad though, only one day, sub clash
cse paper1 and chem paper 3 so still it's quite okie . planned out my study timetable.
it's gonna be tough . needa bear through this obstacle to get nearer to my A'lvl.
not sure if i will be able to reach there . dying out here .

thanks to the swine flu, we need to take temperature twice a day .
real troublesome . and still need to record down . hahas .
though is bad to think this way, but somehow really hope,
there's the unlucky person who gt the flu but dun die lah,
so tt we dun need go to sch!! but somehow dun think this will happen
we alr in orange alert when we dun even have a single suspect case.

miss,missed,missing .

2009-05-03T22:39:00.002+08:00

it's just weird without u. envy of others.

i'm bored. feeling empty . really dislike doing IS
hate it . seriously hate it . it seem like an enlogated essay writing.
it seem to have so much to be written. so much things to do research on
and mr cham just keep blah-ing, saying wah, this die die cannot like tt,
must follow like this and stuff . real irritating . somehow cannot stand it
i hate doing stuff i dun like to do. i'm so FORCED to do it . and i'm losing direction
simply no interest at all . FORCED to do . why i take up this stupid subject?
argh!!! wadever happen to china, seriously i dun find tt it gt to do with me.

i'm not happy. i feel so bothered . everyday IS IS, still IS.
how am i going to crawl throught this stupid year . ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it suck seriously .

2009-05-03T21:41:00.002+08:00

today is St.Joseph's Feast Day,
yea, funfair , food and games . hahas .
everything were about the same every year.
but i'm surprised today! hahas . i saw mag coming to church
with his mum . hahas . most prob his mum ask him to come
to help her spend those coupons away . hahas .

my family wanted to go for the 6.30 AM teochew mass,
saying tt it's rare to have teochew mass -.-lll
so early! so didn't went to chuch with them
took bus there to attend 9.30am mass...
and on the bus! mag and his mum board on, initially i dun know
tt's his mum,i was wondering early in the morning where is he going
on a 67 bus . hahas!! he stand back facing and BESIDE me, buden
hahas!! he nvr notice tt i'm just behind him -.-
alighted den i went to say hi, he gt a shocked. hahas!!
very gd boy willing to go church early in e morning and attended a
chinese mass, i attended chi too, though dun really understand much
very chim chi usage of words . hahas !!

went to meet theresa to study at 1 and she duper late -.-lll
hahas . damn tired . still have to do IS . torturing .
family went IM to shop, i'm pathetically stuck at home

wondering hw's ur jungle life? tiring huh? hopefully this week pass by quickly. takecare .

2009-05-02T00:08:00.002+08:00

went shopping and watch movie today.
initially is not de,but yah, i understand, it's tiring .
didn't spent alot today, $19 on watch, $19 on a dress,
those simple dress, easy to match and go out type.
others on food . hahas . it since a very long time tt i went
shopping . those saw some i like, but must control . hahas!!

must control my diet sia . if not sure gain weight de . hahas
going to run tml, hopefully?? hahas . must lose weight !! hehes .
very tired -.- going to bed soon .

it goona be a tiring wk . takecare =D

2009-04-29T22:47:00.003+08:00

it has been a very busy and hectic week.
although it's only wed today, but i'm DYING !!!!!!!!!!
so tired. not physically but mentally. lots of stuff needa do.
hmwk pile higher and higher. CSE ESSAY OUTLINE !!!
why i take this subject in the first place?? just let me complain k
ARGH !!!! tests, and more tests.how am i going to finish my work?
doin my math now. hais

is this a joke or something? i feel weird, very.

2009-04-29T22:03:00.005+08:00

bad mood. damn bad. dun come near me.
pissed, sick and tired . hate thursday.
where are u?? it's 10plus alr le. worrying sick.

2009-04-27T23:02:00.002+08:00

my A'dvs season comes to an end today .
2 losts, 1 win. hahas . but i'm satisifed.
this team is new and majority are beginners.
the team really improved a lot. imagine they need
to master the basic, formations and def in less than 2 yrs
while other sch have "ready made" players .
thought we did not win, but i believe, we are winners in each and every
one of us . there's nothing to lose . we proved tt we can win,
and win in a national match .

though the feeling of defeat really sucks.
seeing yh and jy going into the 2nd round,
and there's nothing i can do to go on with them,
tears rolled down. filled with envy. who won't wan to get into 2nd round?
but i hav to resign to fate. they did their best. i'm proud of them
i did not regret choosing to play a'dvs,nvr regret to stay on.
thanks alot of u ppl de support and concern,
esp the two mentors, i had grown as a person,
a player and as a leader.

2009-04-19T17:28:00.002+08:00

i need to take chem retest again !!! wad shit..
simply stupid, it's on wed, and i have my A'dvs match on tt day.
most prob i'll be banned from match . going to take mc on tt day
wad for keep retest when i can't even pass. i dun even have time to study
how am i going to do well for the test? even i have the time,
using 3 days to study, do u tink i can pass?? ridiculous. i still
have other homework to do, and is really quite a lot still
stupid sch. damn pissed .

2009-04-18T22:43:00.002+08:00

my sis' newly launched blogshop @

chique_senhora.livejournal.com

pls support okie!! hahas . mainly is on dresses, diff types of dresses .
have a look . hahas . some are really not bad, is affordable and it's free size

haven done any hmwk today again . yah, no time i know,
just simply can't make my brain and fingers move. gonna do them tml.

keep wondering are u fine in there, and ur msg came . hahas .
things will get better de . it's just the start, practices make perfect .
u can do it de. hahas . u have tt strong character and perseverance.
jia you !!! takecare too . weather really horrible .
all sudden miss u alot. actually wanted to msg u, but havin a second thought, dun know u free anot, or tired? dun dare to disturb u . like why i keep fan ni or something like tt . scare tt if everyday msg u like too over and irritating. all sudden 2 weeks seem so so so slow . really hope the 2 wks just flash pass. miss u

2009-04-18T00:51:00.003+08:00

my mum bought my childhood jelly !!
nice nice !! hahas . it's since ages i last ate it.
she bought diff type of flavours too . hahas .

ran the canal for training today . hahas.
today's training focus on all the def and formation stuff .
quite slack de . hahas . but i see how thingys goes,
it isn't very promising . quite worrying de .
i dun know how am i going to play A'dvs .
alot of worries, i scared i won't do well . ahhhh!!!
e fear is coming back . hais . how??!!!??

missing u.
though is not those to the extent of really miss.
but wondering how are u now?are u okie?
JL HOW ?!?? i can't calm down . hais! where are u?? ="( losing confidence. losing faith. losing powr. losing mentality. increasing fear. sometimes really feel like crying, bu i shouldn't right?? staying strong isn't easy.

2009-04-16T20:59:00.002+08:00

3rd day alr . hahas . kinda weird though .
pls takecare of urself k !!

tired of sch somehow . and i really wish season quickly comes and get over it
facings alot of worries, pressure and it's draining my energy away .
it seems tt sch work and bball is pressing hard on me . but still everything needs
to go on. and due long hrs of sch days and also trainings, i dun have the extra energy
or much focus to do my hmwk . i'm doom, 4 cse essays, haven even touched on one,
i only higlighted the points for 2 essays . and tml's e deadline ! doomed .
hopefully he forgt to ask us to hand in . simply dun have the motivation to
take up the pen to write . i'm forced to. hais .

2009-04-14T21:45:00.005+08:00

he book into army early this morning. hahas .
friends in sch keep asking me, are u sad??
hahas . okie lah, nothing to be sad about.
mayb just very not use to it, and yah, can't contact him.
cannot keep disturbing him now too. hahas .
and his hp batt needs to last till 29 april !! hahas.

very happy, just he called, to inform me some stuff,
didn't really catch wad he say about the admin 5??
hahas . buden yeah, he will be free aft 9.30pm,
and only will book out on 29 april not 26, but not bad lah,
he will book out from 29 april till 3 may . hahas !!

actually i wanted to ask quite alot of stuff de . buden,
no no, better save phone batt. if not cannot last till 29 april.
today, kept thinking, wad/how is he doing inside?? hahas
shave hair liao?? hahas !! is he doing fine??
but he sound fine to me though . takecare k !!!
i miss you !! =x really happy tt u called just now. surprised. atleast somewhat more fang xin. uhahas . takecareof urself properly. worried about ur headache "sydrome" and wrist.

2009-04-13T22:59:00.002+08:00

omg, it's less than 12 hrs?? hahas .
yah, u going overseas ah . hahas . over-e-sea.
going botak soon. hahas . enjoy ur sunrise view
and ur blazing hot sun !! takecare !! and all e best.
enjoy ur army life . hahas . jia you !!

still have hmwk to do . hais .tired -.-

2009-04-11T23:44:00.002+08:00

thank you for everything. not just today =D
too much to be written/express by words.
very grateful and it's a pleasure/fortune .

happy army-ing. jiayou !! hahas . takecare too
esp ur lousy wrist. goin botak in 3 days time.
dun really know wad should i say. but i'm happy.

though maybe i might miss u.but it's so much easier now,cos learnt how to let go,not letting u to be one of the factor tt "controls" my life. it's going to a challenging, tough and adventurous 2 yrs for u, takecare of urself well k. dun ying ying lai also. hahas . i promise to be a guai sister, and study hard for my A's, i'll try to reach my aims and not to drink. hahas . promise to takecare of urself too, dun ying ying lai, try to be hero or act tough ah. later ur $200 plus gone to waste. hahas . stay in contact k, not as in must everytime msg, i can't afford tt too. but just ya, stay in contact(update me k) hahas . but i'll msg u e A'dvs results, i dun know how gd/bad it gonna be.
worst come to worst, i'll break down tt's all? hahas . so u check on 27 april de night, so as to save ur phone batt, i'll update u at one go, maybe there's alot of complains/mourning too. be prepared ah . hahas !!!!

2009-04-10T23:02:00.002+08:00

didn't do much stuff today . keep on sleeping and sleeping
hahas!! it since a long time tt i can sleep till tt late .
in e afternoon, i tried to do hmwk, but sleep again . hahas!!
3pm went for Gd Friday mass . 1.5 hrs long .

went back home, watch tv. eat dinner, watch tv . hahas!!
really dun have the discipline to study . omg .
i gt alot of hmwk . really alot !! 4 CSE essays,
each essay is like 3 pgs or more kind. 1 econs essay,
chem prac/tutorial/revision wksheet . GP ??
hahas!! can't remember wad hmwk i had .

tml morning going back to sch for CSE lesson,
8 am !! hahas . going out aft tt so friday and sat gone!
left sun to complete my hmwk . deep shit . hahas !!
i'll try to do it now =DD

2009-04-10T00:45:00.002+08:00

i'm so so so sleepy now!!!
ZZzzzzZZ . hahas . just came back from
churches not long ago . dozing off soon .

magnus chose the 12 players alr. majority
is wad i expected and guessed correctly .
finally the 12 players are out , hopefully
they cherish this chance given, and do the best
out of it . we have not much time left .

12 players are:
me, alicia, beryl, theresa, iris, jeannette,
ling rong, angela, de par, karen, qian mei, michelle.

tml's Good Friday, needa fast . hahas .

just now, all sudden saw this:
events + responses = outcomes
dao xia le, zai zhan qi lai .
although some simple words,
but is a loud "bang" on me. hahas
really very fast. going to be 14 april soon . all sudden have e thought of also going balestier on sat too. can we? hahas.

2009-04-08T23:33:00.002+08:00

oh yah, thanks for coming down.
although like waste ur time .

just watched e short short video took by
jeannette while we playing e match,
i realise alot of things although is just a short video
i realise my own personal mistakes too .
alot . i know le . yah, realise le.
something which i'm capable of .

2009-04-08T22:20:00.002+08:00

had our friendly with MI today
DISAPPOINTING !!! very very disappointing.
it's not wad we should be playing . i think
everyone has that little "fear" devil inside their mind
we like playing with some bomb ball . and i'm very reckless
is VERY not a little . i didn't lose my temper, but i lose control
of my thoughts, calm, and mentalilty. i just freak out on court.
untill the last quarter, i calm down abit, doing something tt's
right. but injured my right ankle again . it's not very serious,
i think it's just some minor injury, need to recover fast .

i very disappointed with my performance. i hai le them somehow,
due to my reckless actions and decisions, i caused alot of turnovers,
and lost alot of opportunities. i made alot of big boo boos on court.
too much . i freak out again. i took nearly 30 mins to calm myself down.
i'm really sorry ppl . failed to play well, failed to lead well. one of e most
regretful match ever. lose confidence somehow, i can't do wad i could last time,
driving in and shooting isn't tt perfect abd well done like last time .
alot of "wad if" inside my mind. i know wad i want to perform,
but simply failed to do it . faith, trust, passion, yearn/desires and confidence pls !!!!
i needa perservere and fight back, fight for every ball, go for every ball
the "wants" for it where has it gone to?? buried under worries and pressure??
played badly .... forgt how bball should be played?? u can't give up !!!!!!

2009-04-07T23:11:00.002+08:00

i can't find my chilli plaster !!
hahas . i gt muscles and joint aches -.-
hais . like some lao ah ma,
here pain there pain . hahas!!
oh, i dun know wad happen to me either,
just now dinner, when i eat rice, it make me feel
fan wei . hahas . like no appetite. is like very difficult to swallow,
dun feel like eating. haven been really eating rice as meals for
really quite a long time, mayb tt's why. phobia of rice??
hahas . hopefully not, cos now i need more carbohydrates,
cos season nearing, plus i exercise almost everyday,
needa replenish energy as much as i could . gosh
okie, me going to bed !! tml's a "BIG" game waiting for me.

2009-04-07T20:59:00.004+08:00

i hate tuesday . super draggy day .
hahas . mr yaw was absent,so the relief teacher
take over. hahas . he's very very tall, and bulit,
having those very " basketball player" type of shape
very nice !!! and the way he talk like some shy boy type
hahas . but he dun suit to be pe teacher though,
very weird teaching method . do some weird stuff during pe

watched PJC rugby vs MI just now . hahas .
those guys were playing on the muddy wet field
so disgusting . and MI players were HUGE, and big
hahas . like bulldozers . hahas . but!! we won!
hahas. at first they didn't really played well, but
the the mid, they started to play better and score more
congrats!! and MI really produce very BIG size players,
tml having friendly match vs MI, they gt tt twin sister,
both very BIG BIG BIG size . and is TWINS .
last yr A'dvs i bang into one of them and i fall back, and she stand
firm on the ground . hahas!!

i'm worried, all sudden . lose a bit of confidence.
they really big size. wad if i can't get pass them?
NO!!! it shouldn't be the case !! i'm faster!!
i can do it !!! some encouragement pls !!
hahas . no worries, i shall not think so much.
just do my best tml . JIAYOU yeah !
remember tml 3.30pm k !!

2009-04-06T22:34:00.002+08:00

had pe in e morning, and training in e late afternoon
hahas . ran 8 si-zhe in total . hahas!! nvr ran so many in one day
since a long long time . hahas!! today's training, all of us trained together
very obviously that j1 and j2 somehow are lack of chemistry . plus,
they just joined in, very new to the drills we are doing, and the passes made
aren't tt gd though, cos they tend not to pass in front, but somehow,
aft a while it's quite okie . not tt bad de . hahas . daphne and qian mei,
very cute, both very small size, about the same height, doing e drills together
the ball like so much bigger than their head, and like two dolls running
up and down e court . hahas . we played 5 on 5 aft tt, is a test of our team chemistry
as a whole . obviously, quite jia lat de . until magnus came in, very obvious he can lead
his tt gp better, giving commands and directions. dun know how he did tt so well

wed, firendly vs MI . yah, tt two big size twin sisters -.-
dee par most prob not going, due to doc appointment. OMG !!!
i dun wan to def tt two twins!!! they are realy huge . hahas!!
but, i wan to win this friendly, i WANT to . hen bu fu shun to tt team.
they aren't really tt gd, bu gan xin . i want to win this match, and if can win
big . it's quite disgracing to lose to such a team, unless they had improved
alot alot since last yr . i wan to win back wad we lost last yr.
but, i will control my emotion like how i did for ijc,
i will play with a calm mode,not flaring up, cos i believe that u guys
are able to produce wad we did for IJC match. we gonna do it better.
and i will play my best, all out just to win this match . people,
pls put in your 101% effort pls. and it mean quite alot to me.

okie, i had 2 essays, 1 case study, 4 articles not yet done .
and is due tml. hahas!!! dun need sleep le.
actually feel like asking u to come watch this MI match, it's @ MI, 3.30pm.is not to see u or wad. but to see us play, this team play, i think we had improved? though it might not be tt gd. but hopefully not disappointing. we did not bad for IJC friendly.just wan u to see the improvement in the j1 and 2s.hopefully it won't be a disappointing match. hopefully we sustain or play even better than ijc friendly.but i think dee par make quite a big diff still.and it's the last chance u see us play?and want u to see this team win MI, winning back wad we lost last yr, if we do have tt ability.

2009-04-05T21:57:00.002+08:00

homework not yet done!! hahas . dun have e motivation to look at them.
really feel like going for a break . go somewhere far away, somewhere peaceful,
slow pace. all sudden thought of going holland. or some far away villages.
enjoying the scenery and the peacefulness there, strolling along the streets.
shall stop dreaming, needa go back to work .
tryingtogetoverit.it'sjustdifficult.althoughalrsixinle.butthere'sstillttrootdanglingthere.

2009-04-05T15:24:00.004+08:00

just came back from hornets training . hahas .
tired . did quite a lot of stuff today . but somehow
my right ankle cannot take it . it hurts . hahas .
i realise, i can last as in stamina on court,
but not the strength . i can run but aft sometime,
i dun have strength to pass/lay up/shoot
which is quite bad . i dun feel tired, but just
no strength . just now shoot free throw nearly airball
coach asked me whether am i playing anot, ask me how my sch team,
wad gping. somehow really tempted me to play youth cup .
I DUN KNOW !! should i play? cos my A'dvs season most prob will end early
but i'm just afraid there will be problems with my studies . how???
i dun even know whether i'm discipline enough.
and now hornets dun have enough players again, kaiyi going
overseas to study . nicole had her knee injury which cause her
unable to play vigorous sports . another overage -.-
though i'm not any very significant/ important player in tt team,
i might not have e chances to play as long as i can in pjc,
buden it's something i dun wanna to miss . just see how things goes.

2009-04-04T23:36:00.003+08:00

actually thought of teaching them some basic stuff,
in the end, only alicia and jeannette turn up, others can't
make it . aft tt went to mac to study . tired and just simply
can't concentrate . went back home to sleep .
feels better aft a nap. bath, get changed and went to church
cos tml going hornets training . i heard it's getting tougher,
quite worried . might not able to take it . haven been training
in tough trainings for quite a long time .

aft mass, my 2nd uncle brought me and his family to some indian restuarant
to eat curry fishhead . hahas . actually i'm like 1/3 full, dun really feel like eating
buden is very rude not to eat when he treating u and saying it's very nice .
hahas. very full . and my younger cousin, is a "she", she dares to eat fish's eyes and tongue
omg . to me is gross, she dig out e eyes and tongue and start chewing.
and i sitting beside her . hahas . super daring . and she's only sec 1, small girl.
went to my ah ma hse den home-d.

gonna go to bed soon. hmwk undone. aft tml's training must start doing.
my wai po admit into hospital . SGH, hope she's doing fine .

many people asked each other,
why u like/love this person? and,
majority will think for a while and say i also dun know
there's no define ans . love is just simple.
not taking into accord of so much things.
is not up to u to judge whether u are worth it a not,
it's just e feeling . everything doesn't matters anymore
no one will find their beloved ugly or imperfect. is just
the same thing . i'm not saying all these to oppose u or mean anything,
just typing my thoughts out .
i know very clearly, though i didn't say much,
i'm very clear of wad's happening and wad/how am i now.
cos there's no point forcing or avoiding/ ignoring.
need to face it somehow someday . just let nature take its course.
a puzzle need tt one and only correct piece to fit in to complete the whole picture,
just like couples, only the right person can fits into tt right heart. so why bother to
force one tt dun suit . no point . nth will change .